This is totally out of the norm for me to write something like this, but I am finding some very intriguing words and thoughts in this book and wanted to share them with you. First, let me begin with how I even found this book. As many of you know Dan, my husband, has been leading a Men’s Bible Study at our church since the Fall of last year. They just finished up a study by Robert Lewis called Men’s Fraternity, A Quest for Authentic Manhood. One of the weekly sessions was about how to raise your son up to become a man of God. A resource that was suggested during this weekly study was a book called, Raising A Modern-Day Knight. Dan had told me about this book and how he would like to have it to read and begin the process with Dylan, our son. The weekend of Father’s Day, I attended a home school conference in Louisville. There were several vendors there selling books and many other things. Right before we left the conference to head home we stopped and a book vendor and there on the table was the book Dan had been wanting. I picked it up and contemplated whether I should purchase it for Dan or not. As I was making my decision, I saw the book I am reading. The book is called, Preparing him for the other woman, a Mother’s guide to raising her son to love a Wife and lead a family” by Sheri Rose Shepherd.
I picked up both these books and brought them home. Dan was very happy with his book and I am also very happy with the book I selected. I wanted to share some of the eye-opening quotes I have read. Before I start, let me say this to all of you reading this. Whether you are a single mom or helping your husband raise your son, this book is for you. If you are married reading this book, please remember it is not our place to replace or take the role of a father. It is our responsibility to come along side and help in the process.
I will do a chapter by chapter review and put a few of my own thoughts with them occasionally. So many of the words in this book need nothing more than what the author wrote. I hope you enjoy this as much I have and hope this will encourage you to pick up this book as well.
Introduction
1. “The way a man loves a woman has a lot to do with what hev learned as a little boy through a relationship with his mother. This is because she is the woman God placed in his life until he is married.”
2.” We are raising a generation of boys who have better relationships with their video games, iPods, televisions, and computers than they have with their families. Their world is one where pornography is no longer a hidden shame, but encouraged as entertainment.”
3.” Far too few role models are willing to take a stand against immorality and infidelity, to teach our boys to declare victory for themselves and the generations to follow.”
4. “You as a mother cannot replace the father role in your son’s life. You can raise a modern-day hero who will fight for his family and be a faithful, loving husband and father.”
5.”Our God is the same today as when He raised up mighty men in a fallen world thousands of years ago. He is bigger than any statistic, any attack, or any circumstances you find yourself in. He is the lover of your soul; He is your provider; and ultimately, He is your son’s Father.”
Chapter 1
Teach Him to Understand the Heart of a Woman
1. Bill McCartney, founder of Promise Keepers, said this,” If you want to know the true character of a man, look into his wife’s face. Whatever he has invested or withheld can be seen in her eyes.”
2.”A loving mother has the power to teach her son about the tender heart of a woman.”
3. ” God entrusts our beloved sons to us for only a certain number of days. What a great opportunity to invest in their futures by preparing them to love and understand the heart of their future wife.”
Chapter 2
Teach Him to Become a Hero
1.”Encourage you son’s God -given desire for heroism and adventure! Boys need to be esteemed for their courage and strength. Our goal as mothers should be to teach and inspire them to fight for the things in life worth fighting for, and to help them find their courage and strength in the Lord.”
2.” You can teach your son to put out the fires in his marriage before they get out of control. Our God is the same today as He was thousands of years ago. Don’t wait on the world to change its moral fiber; with God’s help, you can raise a modern-day hero who will fight for his family and remain a faithful, loving husband and father.”
Chapter 3
Teach Him to Express Love
1.” Most boys really love their moms and , if encouraged, want to express that love.”
2. “You are more than simply the mother in your son’s life; you are also the representation of a woman’s need to be loved. And the way you express love to him and teach him to express love to you will greatly impact the way he loves his future wife and children.”
3.”You have the power to bless your future daugther-in-law with a husband who is not afraid to tell the world he loves her!”
Chapter 4
Teach Him the Art of Affirmation
1.”Have you ever thought about how much your mother’s voice-good or bad-stays with you over the years?”
I know for me there are moments when I can recall my own mother’s voice telling to do or not to do something.
2.”How does my son feel about himself after he has spent time talking to me?” According to God’s Word, the power of life or death is in our tongues. We must choose our words carefully when speaking to our son’s. We can kill his confidence with just a few careless, thoughtless words. We can also speak life and truth by teaching him to affirm a family.
3.”Let your words be your legacy, passed from generation to generation”
4.”The way you talk to your son will have a serious effect on the way he communicates with others- including his own wife someday.”
Chapter 5
Teach Him to Resolve Conflict
1.”We need to prepare our boys for the battles to come in every relationship. To do this , we must train them to fight the temptation to give up so they can win the war against broken marriages, broken hearts, and broken homes. There is no better way to show our sons what it takes to become a man of God than by teaching them the difference between right and wrong ways to handle conflict.”
2.”Next time you are in conflict, think of it as your cue from God to perform the miracle of reconciliation in front of your son.”
3.”Our sons need to be taught while they are young what love in action looks like from a woman’s perspective.”
Chapter 6
Teach Him to Honor and Respect a Woman
1.”One of the greatest challenges of teaching boys how to honor and respect women is that many girls today are not being raised to act like daughters of the King. ” Our boys view women as sexual objects rather than people of honor because of the way television and Hollywood portray women.
2.” You are the woman in your son’s life for now, you need to model for him what a lady acts like. It is your privilege and responsibility to train him to respond like a gentleman in every situation.”
“It is much easier to train a boy than change a man.”
Chapter 7
Teach Him to be a Man of His Word
1.”Our boys are being trained to say whatever they need to in order to get what they want- in other words, to lie without conscience or consequence. Too many modern-day politicians, celebrities, and yes even fathers have led our sons to believe that broken promises are acceptable so long as the end result makes them happy.”
They Bible says in Matthew 5:37, “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.
2. “We can establish a new generation of men by training our boys to become men of their word.”
3. “It is hard to keep our word when we are disappointed in someone or something. But in order to teach our sons to become men of their word, we first have to be women of our word. This means being careful about what you commit to or the promises you make, especially to your son.”
Chapter 8
Teach Him the Power of Purity
1.”The devil does not have to defeat us to steal our boys. All he has to do is distract us from protecting them.”
2.”Our homes need to be places of refuge where our sons can find peace for their young minds, protection for their hearts, and training to prepare them for the mental and physical battles they will have to fight every time they exit our homes.”
3.”If we really want victory for our beloved boys, our lives will have to be louder than the world’s influence.”
4.”It is your privilege and responsibility to train your son, while he is in your home and under your influence, to be a Godly husband who knows how to fight battles of the mind. If you let television or his friends dictate his moral code, you are setting him up to fall into the trap of temptation.”
5.”Think about all the great men that have traded success, ministry and marriage for a moment’s pleasure. Many fallen men live with regret and wish they could reverse the damage done by their sin. Our sons can help reestablish the moral fiber in this great nation; they can become faithful husbands in a fallen world.”
Chapter 9
Teach Him to Provide for His Family
1. 1 Timothy 5:8 says, “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
2.”Men and boys are becoming less and less motivated to provide for their family because they have watched the social trend of women learning to do it all.”
3.” What message are we independent, do-it-myself moms sending our beloved boys?”
4.”If your husband provides for your family, make a point of telling him in front of your son how much you appreciate him. If you are not provided for, use the situation for divine training by telling your son the truth (according to scripture).”
5.”Your son represents the next generation of men. Raising him to believe it is acceptable for a woman to financially support the family will hinder his desire to provide for his own wife and family someday. On the other hand, helping him understand his position as provider will bless him greatly.”
Chapter 10
Teach Him to Have a Real Relationship with God
1.”If our sons are going to become great husbands and mighty warriors for their King, they need to see God in action.”
2.”There is a big difference between teaching kids about God and connecting them to Him.”
3.”There is nothing more powerful or comforting in this unstable world than seeing a real man with real faith in a real relationship with God. Men of faith know their God up close and personal. These mighty men of God have power inside them to win wars, save nations, set captives free, kill giants in the land, and defeat the devil in every way. This kind of man lives for God and not for self. He makes our world a safer and better place.”
Chapter 11
Teach Him to Become a Godly Leader
1.”According to the Word, a man’s dual responsibilities as spiritual leader are 1. to be representative of Christ at home and 2. to present his wife to God as a radiant Christian woman. However, out of necessity many women have become stronger spiritual influences in their homes than their husbands.”
2. Because many women have taken up the spiritual role plus many others, our sons grow up confused in their role as a man and lose respect for their fathers. The result is this: ” The father feeling failure, grows paralyzed and then either emotionally or physically abandons his family, leaving them without a leader or protector. The wife, overwhelmed by all the responsibiilty she has to carry, takes up the role of spiritual leadership. It is neither God’s intention nor His perfect plan for marriage.”
3.”We can prepare our sons to assume their God-appointed postion in their own homes someday by clearing up the confusion and teaching our sons the correct male/female roles in a home, as established from the beginning by God Himself.
The following two paragraphs really hit hard for me. I am going to type out exactly as the author wrote it because I believe it is very powerful.
“The man (the husband) is designed to be the captain of his family’s ship, and the wife (the God-appointed helpmate) is meant to be the radar. Many times the wife can see trouble ahead before the man, because she is more tuned in to matters of the heart. However, it is the husband’s God-given responsibility to guide his family through troubled waters.
A smart man will listen to his wife’s warnings, and a smart woman will give her husband time to turn the ship around. While she waits, she prays him through the storm and asks God to grant her leader wisdom as he looks for a way to get his family safely back to shore.”
This book has three more chapters that I have yet to read, but I felt like I should stop and take a moment to jot down the things that were hitting me hard. Although it is our husbands responsibility to be the spiritual leader and provider of our home, we are to be his helpmate. In order for us to help us in this process we need to become equipped ourselves. We need to dive deep into the study of God’s Word and practice these very truths. We have to make ourselves available to His teachings and His callings in order for us to truly be the Godly Women, Wives, and Mothers He has called us to be. If it were not so important to Him he would not have said in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old he will not depart from it.” This verse speaks not only about our sons but also our daughters. We are to teach our daughters likewise. God has blessed us with our children, we are to obey his commands out of obedience and service to Him. Our intentions should be nothing other than for the children He has blessed us with to bring Glory and Honor to Him!
I am sure as I read the last few chapters of this book, there will be more insight. I will type that after I read them. Sorry for the long post but, I felt compelled to share it with you!